Money, money, money. Money plays a very important role in all aspects of our lives. In fact, the worst thing that can happen to you as a newly married couple is to find yourself without much money after the wedding and especially within the first year or two in the marriage. Research shows that finance generates frequent arguments which later lead to problems in marriages than any other topic. This seems to be the case because people have personal attachment to money. They work and work hard on daily, weekly, and monthly basis. Money is thus a symbol of their hard work and sweat. Many people also see it as a symbol of their self-worth, and, therefore, would protect it with their lives.
It is a well-known fact that financial worries, especially how to pay the bills is a major issue in marriage. Researchers also estimate that almost 70 per cent of all worries concern money. If this is true, then it is imperative that as a newly married couple, you must take all aspects of your finances seriously.
Does money have an influence on our love lives? If you are newly married and you are reading this information, we would seriously encourage you to take your financial issues seriously. If you act responsibly about your finances, you are guaranteed a better marriage to some extent. This is because, there will be less argument, misunderstanding, and disagreements as well as headaches in the marriage and you will be able to build a sustainable marriage. With less arguments comes more time for intimacy, love, fulfilment, and sexual satisfaction.
Financial problems contribute to increasingly making you irritable and impatient towards each other. They also contribute to worry, fatigue, arguments, disagreements and misunderstanding between you. What is more worrying is that, it can also create uncertainty about your security and love towards each other and create more problems than you can handle.
This book, Finance: ‘The Silent Battle For Newly Married Couples,’ is written to inform newly married couples about the importance of money management in the marriage. This is bread and butter issue of life that are often ignored or taken for granted by newly married couple in the marriage. When you lack information about finance as a couple, with time, finance becomes a “little fox” that dig holes and create mess in the marriage vineyard, eroding the love and intimacy that exist in the marriage, ultimately weakening or even tearing it apart. It is important that you are able to catch this ‘little fox’ that nibble the roots of your love before it destroys the foundation of the marriage, including its fulfilment, joy, and sustainability.
Therefore, the best way is to prevent the issue from happening in the first place. As already noted, communication and financial planning are the two most important keys. Take firm decisions, abide by the agreed set rules and ensure that you handle your finances very well. It is also important to be accountable to each other about the use of your joint monies. This will build trust and lead to spill over in other aspects of your marriage.
Above all, commit your finances unto the Lord. Always pray over your finances and give to God. Remember that it is His blessing that maketh rich and addeth no sorrows to it. Proverbs 10:22. Also remember that he has abundant riches and knows our needs. It is therefore important to seek divine guidance and blessings on daily basis over your finances.
Some Churches are doing well by insisting that young couples should go through counselling before they can tie the knot with the Church’s approval. Among the topics that some of the counsellors teach is how to handle finance in the marriage. Having spoken at several seminars in the UK on marriage, and specifically on financial issues, we are aware of the type of questions and ignorance shown by most couples on this issue. We are of the view that married couples would benefit from some of the information we share in this book.
The book also equips you with valuable information, as well as supporting Biblical quotations and practical techniques, to help you beat this “little fox” that might rear its head in your marriage. You must make every effort to sustain your marriage and enjoy it to its true potential in a fulfilled way. You will not be a candidate for divorce because you will be able to nip every “little fox” in the bud before it takes hold, gnawing at the root of your love.
By William& Rev. Mrs Dorothy Appiah